Menopause Mum And Me

Hat by Jasper Conran and Philip Treacy

“False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science, for they often endure long…” Charles Robert Darwin


I now know my mum suffered with a multitude of menopausal symptoms. Back then she was diagnosed with depression. I discovered she was prescribed antidepressants, which she remained on until the later years of her life. Sad to say this still happens. I recall her hair falling out. She had such a thing about her hair. Her weight gain bothered her enormously plus her liking for sugar increased. My curvy size 14 mum never returned. This impacted my parents relationship in numerous negatives ways. Sleepless nights became her norm, we often joked ‘mum needs no sleeps’. Early evening her head would be bowed, eyes closed. She’d nodded off again. Clearly in need of sleep. Forgetfulness, brain fog led her to become confused and lost in the town she knew so well. She stopped driving. If I was around she’d ask me to fetch water to cool her from the hot flashes. I must mention her tinnitus plus a tightening feeling in her head. She’d shake her head violently from time to time. No surprise her confidence waned.


My sleepless nights came in handy. I’d made notes, rehearsed my questions, I was pumped and ready to handle any objections. I’d planned to go armed with pen, notes and pad then thought better of it, didn’t want to come across scripted and uptight, more off the cuff. Seated, waiting to be called into the consulting room, my hands felt unusually warm. Fingers crossed a hot flash wasn’t about to engulf my body. My specialist medical practitioner listened and answered all my questions. She even patiently listened to my mum’s story. She put my concerns to bed and calmly replied ‘Janet (Sandra is my middle name) absolutely no need to suffer there’s no trophy or badge awarded’. What a relief. I wanted to lean across her desk and give her a big hug. (I didn’t)

5 Simple Menopausal tips to put you on the right track

Track your symptoms. Useful information for your appointment with a medical practitioner

Find a reputable practitioner/GP/medical professional or specialist

Research with caution

Have your questions appointment ready

Take a pad and pen into your appointment

What I learned

It doesn’t have to be hormone therapy we’re all different. It works for me. Importantly it’s about making an informed decision with your healthcare professional.

Thankfully we know so much more. Have access to helpful practitioners and specialist clinics.

With knowledge we’re able to advocate for ourselves and others.

The average woman could spend more than 40% of her life postmenopausal. I’m at the beginning of my journey and looking forward.


To all mothers, daughters, aunties, sisters, friends and every single woman approaching, going through, dealing with this chapter. Let’s continue to be fabulous because we all are.

If my mum was offered hormone therapy or support, maybe she would have enjoyed her life fully during and post menopause. Something I’ll never know.

5 responses to “Menopause Mum And Me”

  1. Michelle Wainwright avatar
    Michelle Wainwright

    Thank you Sandra, this post is informative. Knowledge is power. The greater understanding we have the more equipped we become to deal with syptoms caused by the menapause. I think women often think they are going crazy not knowing the impact hormones have on every single part of our bodies including our brains. Let’s share the knowledge and empower each other with tips and ideas on how to combat/ remedy the symptoms we experience.

    Sending love from London

  2. Suzanne Andora Barron avatar

    Wow Sandra, this post is so powerful and so well written. It’s a really important message and one that needs to get out to both those going through menopause and those in peri-menopause. There’s so much misinformation and fear and you speaking out (and writing) helps siphon through that fear and misinformation.

    1. Sandra Scherfler avatar
      Sandra Scherfler

      Thanks. So important to be informed

  3. Jools avatar

    You have made me realise I’m not alone or going completely mad at times. It’s great to be open & know we are all going through this together.

    1. Sandra Scherfler avatar
      Sandra Scherfler

      Menopause happens to all us ladies, that we know for sure

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